“But she said, “Don’t call me Naomi; call me Bitter. The Strong One has dealt me a bitter blow. I left here full of life, and God has brought me back with nothing but the clothes on my back. Why would you call me Naomi? God certainly doesn’t. The Strong One ruined me.””
Ruth 1:20-21 (MSG)
Naomi lost everything: her husband, two sons, and along the way, her dignity. Throughout the first chapter, she even recognizes in verse 20, that she also lost her joy and the pleasure of living life. Bitterness became her normal because of these different life events.
The only people remaining in her life were her two daughters in law. But her broken heart, trauma, and logic all pushed her to prepare for what she was already used to: losing again. So, she urges them to go back to their parents’ houses.
Naomi transformed her trauma into her identity. She allowed the byproducts of her trauma to become part of her. What she went through conditioned and changed the way she saw life afterwards. She was probably asking herself if I lost once, twice, how will I not lose again this time?
I remember when I behaved like Naomi, which sometimes still happens. When I allow my anxiety to become a part of me. When doubts and fear become my normal. I failed once, twice, how will I not fail again?
However, we see in Naomi’s story something particular… Ruth changed Naomi‘s narrative and somehow became a consistent entity in her life.
By accepting to live for Jesus, the Holy Spirit became my consistent entity. Throughout my failures and identity crisis, he was the one urging me to realize that my identity is not found in what I went through but in who I come from.
My experiences allow me to reflect but do not define me in any way. I find my worth and purpose in God through the life of Jesus Christ.
Nothing in me screams failure because He, the one who created the heavens and the earth, calls me very good, in his image, ruler, blessed, fruitful, prolific, full and capable to fill, and made to subdue, etc. (Genesis 1)
God placed my identity in what cannot be taken away from me. God placed my identity in him, not my circumstances.
An identity crisis pushes us to change God’s narrative over our lives. This is not what God intends for us. Our identity is placed in him and should remain so.
My prayer is that the voice of the Holy Spirit in my life will be as consistent, loud, and persistent as Ruth’s voice in Naomi’s life. I want to be able to hear the Holy Spirit remind me that God’s narrative is what matters. That I will not lose my identity because of what I’ve been through I will go through.
I am allowed to feel my feelings, reflect on them, but will not let my feelings dictate or define me.
In God only do I find my reason and purpose.
In Jesus‘s name, I pray, amen.
You were born to shine,
⁃ A-J.M
BORN TO SHINE 